“Friends have a unique loyalty to one another. This loyalty comes not through a sense of duty in the way one may show loyalty to family, kinsfolk or country. Theirs is born out of love, trust and respect. Nurtured on care and understanding. A perfect loyalty that will survive every hardship and endure the rigorous test of time.”
–Stuart and Linda Macfarlane–
The Love Between Friends, a Helen Exley gift book
Friends, some are just acquaintances, others I truly care about. A select few of my friends have become like brothers and sisters. The brother and sister types are the best. A certain type of closeness develops amongst us as if we’ve grown up together. At times we may fight as if we hate each other but we know that the fight isn’t usually a big deal. Generally, by the next day we are back to getting along. Mike, Ashley, and my cousin Kadie are more or less my adopted siblings.
Mike and I have been friends for five years. We became good friends almost immediately. Since then we have developed the friendship of a brother and sister. He and I go round and round picking on each other and horsing around the same way my younger (biological) brother and I do. It’s strange the way we have managed to stay friends through everything we’ve been through. He and I argue with each other at times but we always come together just like family. We both know that we are there for each other at all times. Even when we fight, we can call each other up knowing that we are there for one another.
Chris, Mike, Ashley and I were all riding on the North shore lakefront the night after Christmas. Mike and I got into a fight; he got out of my car and went to sit on the sea wall. I got out to go find out what was really bugging him, because I knew our disagreeing wasn’t the real issue. We were sitting there for a while, so Chris and Ashley left us to go find a bathroom. By the time they had come back, Mike and I had fallen victim to an armed robbery by a “jogger”. We were pushed into the freezing cold lake before the man fled, so we were unable to ever catch him. I was hysterical after the events took place, but Mike was completely calm, or pretended to be for my sake. We got out of the water to look for Ashley and Chris. They were riding in the vicinity trying to find us, thinking we were playing a game. Meanwhile I was still screaming, crying, and shivering in hysterics. We got in the car with them, and they brought us to my house where my mom who heard me from the driveway was racing to the door. Police reports were filed. We were questioned and then accused of lying “to cover up his raping me”. He and I were never told this directly but at the time we were minors so they spoke with our parents privately. Our parents were told that he and I were lying and we were trying to cover up the fact that he had raped me or at least tried to. Obviously, that wasn’t true. We finished with all of the police reports around 3 in the morning but he stayed with me that night because I was still scared. He was there for me regardless of the accusations; which he didn’t take lightly by any means.
The inspiration for this paper actually came from he and I chasing each other around the house play fighting. I ran into my room and locked the door to get away from him, and the idea for this paper hit me. This may sound childish, but I guess horsing around and acting like eight year olds is what brothers do to torment sisters, or at least with me.
My “sister” throughout high school would have definitely been Ashley. She and I first started talking when I had to tutor her in English, blind leading the blind, but that’s a different story. We became friends after that, and we just started hanging at each other’s houses on the weekends. She became like another daughter at my house. When my mom would fix dinner on the weekends, it was just a given that Ashley needed a place set for her too. At one point when I tried to run away (that lasted for about 5 hours) I went to her house. Needless to say that is the first place my dad called. He knew wherever one of us was; the other wasn’t far behind.
I’m a very complicated person to go clothes shopping with so whenever Ashley and I would go to the mall, we’d spend hours trying to find clothes for me. After hours of looking without ever purchasing, she’d get fed up with me and we’d bicker over different outfits. “She’s jolly insulting. If anyone else said the things she says, I’d…She’s usually right, of course, and the best thing is that I can take any insult from her because I know she’s on my side.” –Jenny De Vries– quoted in The Love Between Friends a Helen Exley gift book. Sisters or best friends tolerate more bickering amongst each other than with “outsiders”; I guess that’s why we’ve made it this far. On several different occasions people have asked us if we were sisters we’d always laugh and tell them no. Eventually we started to realize how stupid we must have looked arguing over clothes, so now we either don’t shop for my clothes together or we agree not to say anything about each other’s fashion sense. Unfortunately we aren’t as close to each other since she has moved away for college, but I still think of her as the sister I never had.
My cousin Kadie and I have grown up together, but we never shared a sisterly bond until about two years ago. We became close right before I graduated high school. Kadie and I are together as often as possible with our conflicting busy schedules, but we talk on the phone at least a few times a week. When we are together, we go shopping, go out to eat and all that good stuff. We never hung out a lot when she was seeing her ex-boyfriend because he was a possessive jerk. Now that she is with Joey, the three of us go out when we get a chance. This May I will be a bridesmaid in her wedding; I’m quite happy for her. Our whole sisterly attitudes come about when we’ve been together for extended periods of time. She and I recently got into a spat, and I told her to get out of my car. She actually got out on Loyola Ave. in Kenner and walked a block. I was tempted to leave her but of course I had a moment of weakness and picked her up. We were driving each other nuts because we had been together for almost three days straight. Whoever said too much is never enough was definitely wrong in this case.
I love Mike Ashley and Kadie to death; I would do anything for them. They are my adopted siblings. Having friends close enough to call them brothers and sisters is a blessing because I know I can always count on them no matter what the future holds. We all have been to hell and back with each other. Without them I don’t think life would have been the same. Each of them has made some form of an impact on my life and I hope that they share that feeling with me. Friends come at many different levels but those with whom you can call siblings are like diamonds. They become more valuable over time. “We’ve been friends forever. I suppose that can’t be true. There must have been a time before we became friends but I can’t remember it. You are in my first memory and all my best memories ever since.” — Linda Macfarlane– quoted in The Love Between Friends a Helen Exley gift book. Mike, Ashley, Kadie and I have been friends for a long time; sometimes it feels like forever. They are in some of my best and worst memories; hopefully we will create only the best memories in the future.